RELATIONSHIPS

BEAUTY VERSUS BEAUTY!!




How important is beauty to you? If you live on earth it most probably is very important to you, but the question is: Which beauty are you talking about and why is that beauty important to you? A lot of people like beauty and a lot of people have a problem with people liking beauty as if it is something bad or wrong. What do you think about beauty, and is beauty a good or a bad thing?

The first thing popping into people’s minds when one mentions beauty is what they can see with their eyes, they think about physical beauty. That is the most popular beauty on earth today and something that is greatly wanted by the vast majority of people on earth. There is nothing wrong with it, but some people do have a problem with it. They feel that focusing on physical beauty is an indication of someone only adding value to what can be seen. It is true that there are large numbers of people who are only interested in physical beauty, but that does not make physical beauty an evil or wrong thing, physical beauty is cool. It would be so stupid to call physical beauty an evil thing just because a large number of fools fail to look beyond external appearances. The problem lies with individuals and their personal value system and not beauty. If someone is beautiful they are that way because God created them to be that way. The person who only adds value to an individual based on how they look is the one with the problem. If you want to judge something then judge justly, look beyond the obvious to the Truth. The Truth is that beauty is a cool thing, nobody in his or her right mind wants to be ugly or physically unattractive, all sane people want to be pretty. And the Truth of the beauty-matter is that a lot of people who has a problem with the beauty of others are just plain jealous. If they had that beauty they are so critical about then they would have loved it, but if someone else has it then there is a problem, and they are vain!! Please!!

Beauty is not vanity; even God the Giver of the beauty of mankind clothes Himself with beauty, because beauty is cool. The irony is that “all” those people who coins beauty as vanity, they themselves wants to be with someone who has beauty in their physical appearance. They are not looking for an ugly wife or husband, they themselves are attracted to pretty people!! Hypocrites!! If beauty is such an evil then marry an ugly wife or husband, go in search of those with the least beauty and marry them!! And be pathetic in your own sight. For all those with sane minds and healthy perspectives on life, it is a good thing to marry someone you are physically attracted to. There is nothing wrong with marrying or wanting to marry someone with beautiful looks, beauty is good, God created it and there is nothing wrong with it. The thing with a lot of people, jealous or ugly people (ugly in character), they try to deceive people into believing that beauty is a bad or wrong thing, and that because they “feel” that they can’t get it for themselves and so they criticize and try to break others down, trying to prevent others from getting what they want for themselves. Pathetic. Friend it is perfectly cool to have a reasonable expectation in yourself when it comes to the person you will be spending the rest of your life with, because you will look into their face for the rest of your life!!


The other beauty which a lot of religious people try to elevate as the only quality that is needed to make any relationship perfect is character beauty, the intangible qualities which makes a person beautiful on the inside. Friend, I am all for character beauty, but please, keep everything in balance here. Even though a beautiful character is more important than a beautiful face, God created each to have its place, keep things in proper balance. A beautiful character and a great personality are qualities which every person can have no matter what your face looks like, but a pretty face makes the relationship so much sweeter. No one in his right mind goes out looking for an ugly wife or an unattractive husband with a beautiful character and great personality. Even though a beautiful character is important, they also look for someone they are physically attracted to. God designed the human body to possess both internal and external beauty, beauty in physical appearance and beauty in character, appreciate both, don’t try and separate the two!! When anybody tries to set the two up against each other, then it means, that they either have a lack of knowledge, or they feel that they are not pretty enough, and thus want to elevate the one over the other, and not just that, they want to completely eliminate physical beauty, as something valuable or significant. That is a mistake. It is not wise to get involved in a relationship or marry someone, just because they have a beautiful character, there should be some physical attraction as well. I am not saying that it should be the most beautiful person on the planet, but God gave beauty to all people, you just have to discover or understand your own preferences or likes, when it comes to what you prefer your wife or husband to possess. When you know what you like, love or prefer, then find someone who possesses both a beautiful character and those particular physical beauties you prefer. You will be a whole lot more fulfilled in the relationship when your wife or husband has both the inner beauties you prefer and cherish, as well as the outer attractions you so desire.  Keep everything in a healthy balance, it is important for someone to possess a great and beautiful character, but do not discard the desires you have for someone with physical beauty as well. And yes a beautiful character is more important than just mere physical beauty, but both are important and needed in a relationship between a man and a woman. God created both for a very good reason, appreciate both.

“A good man obtains favour from the LORD… A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown.” (Proverbs 12:2,4)


“A kind-hearted woman gains respect… A kind man benefits himself.” (Proverbs 11:16-17)

“How handsome you are, my lover!” (Song of Songs 1:16)

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one.” (Song of Songs 2:10)

“How beautiful you are, my darling!” (Song of Songs 4:1)

It is important to always keep in mind that as an individual you do have your own taste and your own personal preferences. And just as you have your own tastes, likes and dislikes, so does other people, your friends and family included. Do not project your own preferences or likes onto other people, allow them to be themselves. Just as you like what you like for whatever reasons you have so do they, allow them to choose their own wives or husbands and do not project your personal preferences onto their choices. If they choose a guy or a girl to be with, they have their reasons, if the guy or girl is not pretty according to your standards what does it matter? If they have a great personality and great character and all you can find fault with is their level of beauty then you are a problem. Let people choose for themselves and never tell someone to get rid of a potential wife or husband just because you don’t like the way they look. For someone else you are not the bee’s knees either, so don’t be mean. Even if you consider yourself to be the most physically beautiful and attractive person on earth you do not have the right to push others down or to be mean to people. Show some character-beauty and be nice and considerate, God did not give the same level of physical beauty and attractiveness to all people. You humans who are so afraid of being judged and condemned will be judged and condemned if you are deliberately mean and ugly to people.

Just because you are pretty in appearance does not mean that will make up for a lack of beauty in your character. Potential mates most probably will be attracted to you because you are pretty, but if you lack the inner qualities that are needed to balance you as an individual they will find someone who has what you lack and that is inner beauty. I say this, because a lot of people (girls mostly) focus so much on their physical beauty they tend to neglect the most important part, inner beauty. Some people point out the fact that the person their mate left them for is not half as attractive as they are, so their mate must either be blind or stupid. But in reality they just found the beauty they found lacking in that individual, inner beauty, and inner qualities which outer beauty cannot replace.
It may be hard to believe, but subconsciously people look for both inner and outer beauty, and most people are fine to settle for someone who looks average, but who possesses great beauty in character and personality. Someone who makes them laugh, someone who is not mean or disrespectful, someone who will respect their mom and who treats other people with the same respect they desire for themselves, someone who is not a headache or troublemaker, someone they can live with. If you are wise, and display your inner beauties, and pay at least as much attention to cultivating and developing, a good character, and a friendly like-able personality, as you do to your physical appearance, then people will come to you, and you can pick and choose any partner you desire to be with.
“A happy heart makes the face cheerful.” (Proverbs 15:13)
If what you carry inside of you is good it will show up in your face and people will notice it.
“As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.” (Proverbs 27:19)

JUST BE HAPPY!!


What is the most basic desire of most people on earth? The desire to just be happy. Think about it for a moment, most people across the planet, will list all their desires, from the most important to the least important, and at the very core of all their desires, is the root desire: the desire to just be happy.
The husband and father, or wife and mother, who rises early in the morning, to go to a job, which they might not really like, does it, because they want to earn an income, an income which will present them with the resources, they and their children, and loved ones need, in order to live a happy life. Nobody goes to a job to increase unhappiness, or misery, no, everybody wants to increase their own happiness, or at the very least, maintain their current level of happiness, and a good decent income, is at the very core of that happiness. So, it is safe to assume and state, that in order for a person to be happy on earth, in this current age, they need to have a decent, and sufficient income. There are, of course, many different ways to generate a decent income, but the bottom line is: in order to be happy, all people need to have access to resources, and they need to have a good and decent income, for that to happen. (Side note: take that into account if you are not married yet, a good decent income, will have a direct impact on your relationship, and that will affect your relationship, and your level of happiness- there is nothing wrong with using common sense when choosing a partner)

There is, of course, nothing wrong with the desire, to just be happy, it is a good thing, and it motivates people to do their best, and be their best. The parent of a kid, wants their kid to live in a safe and healthy, peaceful environment, and they do the best they can to create that environment, for themselves, and for their kids. Most people, with and without children, are working towards establishing, and creating, their happy place, a place where they can relax, and just be happy, away from the stresses of the world. That, is not an indication of selfishness; it is, rather, an indication of a motivated, and driven individual, with a desire to be happy.
The one thing, to always keep in mind though, is to not swap, or trade, the integrity of your good character, to obtain that happiness you so desire. It is fine and good, to be a well-motivated, dedicated and driven individual, with a good vision, and it is fine to work towards establishing your own happiness, but it is not fine to cheat others, in order to obtain what you so desire. It is normal to be competitive in this world, but it is not fine, to be greedy and selfish. Allow others the same freedom to be happy, which you believe yourself to be entitled to. I mention this, because I came across a lot of selfish and greedy individuals, who thinks, that if others are happy that they won’t be. They work really hard towards keeping, or making, other people unhappy, and that is evil, you cannot build your own happiness on the misery of others. You will inherit a curse. Build your own happiness, with righteous integrity, do not be a stumbling-block to your neighbour’s happiness. There is enough misery in this world, and enough unkind realities, which people are dealing with daily, do NOT contribute to the darkness in this world, by being mean or selfish, you will inherit a curse.


Being happy is a choice. There is no pretending, that there are no challenges in this world, unfortunately there are, but that does not mean, that you should stop pursuing happiness. Happiness is your right, and nobody has the right, to infringe on that right, nobody. But, you need to keep it in the right context. You have the right to be happy, but not at the expense of the suffering of innocent others. For example, you have the right to be promoted at your job, but not through bribing your superiors, in order to get that promotion. You have the right to be happy with your partner, but not by sleeping with, or taking the spouse, of another. You get the picture? The way forward, for those who pursue happiness with a pure heart, and with righteous motives, is a blessed road. Seemingly insurmountable challenges, will shrink down to molehills, and the good, which appears to be far away, will come closer, and be attainable, because your heart is pure. Do not allow the challenges of the world, to defeat your desire, to just be happy, happiness is your right, and nobody has the right to take that from you.

“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice.” (Proverbs 16:2-3, 8 NIV)
“A happy heart makes the face cheerful.” (Proverbs 15:13)

WHAT A GIRL WANTS!!


What is it that a girl wants? That is a question which will present you with many different answers, opinions and responses. You can walk up to any girl and she will tell you what she thinks a girl wants and the next girl you ask will come up with a completely different list of things she believes a girl wants, it could be her own list of things she decided she wants or it could be a general list of things she considers all girls want in life. And, yes, strange as it may sound, most girls do have lists of things they want, and it could include anything from the latest car to make-up, bags and nail polish, don’t forget shoes and clothing, and oh, yes, Mr Right. In fact mister Right is one of the most important things on most girls’ lists, ninety-nine per cent of the time mister Right is priority no. 1 even if he is sixth or seventh on the list, in their heads he is number ONE.
Now, I don’t find fault with that, I get it, but most guys don’t, because they really do not understand girls and how they think. Most guys will tell you, she said this and that, but then she went and done the complete opposite of what she said. So most guys think that most girls do not know what they want, because they always change their plans or priorities. For instance, a girl will say that she wants to first buy or own her first car and home as soon as she can and then she will settle down with Mr Right or bother finding him, but two weeks later she comes with a guy and says that she has found Mr Right, even though she still doesn’t have that independence she was talking about. She is still up to her ears in debt and can barely afford the payments on her new car, she still lives with her parents or rents an apartment which she shares with a friend or two, but now she’s found the last thing on her list of priorities, Mr Right. This is how I see it and also found with most girls, that no matter where Mr Right is on their list (usually not no. 1), he is number ONE in a girl’s head and she will welcome her idea of Mr Right anytime and anywhere.
I do not think that to be proof that most girls are confused and do not know what they want, because that is not proof that they do not know what they want, that is simply proof that they do not want the whole world or even those closest to them to know their heart’s deepest desires or longings, so as a result they draw up a fake list, meanwhile the real list is in their heads or hearts. I acknowledge that another reason why girls draw up a fake list and present that to their friends during conversations and girl-talk is that they are not fully persuaded that they will get the things they really want to have, so they present a list of things they consider or identified as achievable and/or do-able, meanwhile the real list of things they want is in their heads or in their hearts. The reason they do not want to reveal their actual list or heart-list to friends or even loved ones is because they think that those friends or loved ones will see it as their fantasy list. A list full of fantasy things they want or desire and will most probably never get and that is why most girls prefer to not tell all. I get it, because sometimes those closest and dearest to you are not as respectful or as much a believer in you as you are, simply because they really do not think you are all that, even when they claim to be on your side or for you, they just do not believe in you as much as you believe in yourself. Most girls pick that up and sensitive as they are prefer to withhold certain sensitive dreams and desires or longings from those they do not fully trust. Yes, it is about trust, if they fully trust then they will fully disclose all, but when they do not trust completely they then become selective when it comes to sharing their personal-self and desires and longings with people they do not fully trust. They recognize that sharing their deepest ideals, wants and desires with someone means sharing themselves and their own personal-self, which means a lot to them, and reality is that which they consider precious they won’t easily share if they do not trust.
All girls do have a heart list, a list of things they want or desire to have and most girls are actively working toward making those precious things on their lists a reality. Most girls want peace, a peaceful life and real-life personal and peaceful relationships. Most girls do want that Mr Right and in their hearts he is number ONE and I don’t find fault with that. The True Mr RIGHT will actively protect, love and care for his girl and provide for her as best as he can. I will mention that The Real Mr RIGHT will present his girl with every important thing like house, income, car, safety and sufficient resources already in place when he is approaching her. That is the Mr RIGHT which SHOULD BE ON EVERY GIRL’S LIST.

“Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in His commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures for ever.” (Psalm 112 NIV)
And there is nothing wrong with a girl wanting a rich man, God sets the standard, “Wealth and Riches are in his house.” I KNOW SOCIETY TELLS GIRLS THAT THEY ARE GOLDDIGGERS WHEN THEY WANT A RICH MAN, BUT GOD SAYS HE “MUST” BE IN A POSITION TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN (NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT). In conclusion, there is nothing wrong when a rich righteous and good man is first on a girl’s list of wants!!

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